Tonight my mother said that some of my songs make her think I am sad. She asked me if I am sad and said her heart would be broken if I was. She’s a good mom.
I have always connected with sad topics and written well with them. I don’t have a super bubbly “everything is fine” personality. I connect much better with sadness.
I haven’t had a horrible past. I had good parents and a good home. But I had my share of sadness, as I do now. But I am also filled with joy.
In a way I feel like my life has all been incredibly happy and incredibly sad at that same time. Everything all at once.
Some nights I don’t want too feel much of anything. Just sit and be numb and overwhelmed.
I am fine because I know where to look for sources of deep and long-lasting joy.
But I am always going to have a melancholy tinge, especially in music.
I suppose it doesn’t matter whether I am happy or sad. It will be a 180 degree turn at some point anyway.